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The Dating Game And How It’s Easy If You’re Not Playing It


Even though I love my car and would never change it, I sometimes like to look on car sites – like Auto Trader – at what other cars are out there that I’d be tempted to buy were I looking for a new one. I do this knowing I’m not in the market for a new car.

In a similar vein, I sometimes like to look on dating sites – like – to see what single women are in my area that I might be interested in were I in the market for a new woman. I do this knowing I’m not in the market for a new woman.

When I look at different cars I realise that I’m quite happy with the car I have and forget about it. But when I look at different single women I find myself getting a bit depressed – but not for the reasons you might think. I don’t look at all these attractive women thinking “oh no, I’m stuck in a relationship and wish I could try a few of these lovely ladies out for a while – play the field as it were”. Instead I feel sad that so many women are alone, looking for love, pouring their hearts out in their profiles, trying to find a decent man to share their lives with. Frankly, I can see why some of them are single from reading what they’ve written and some of the scary pictures of themselves. But the vast majority, through bad luck or some as-yet unspecified personality defect (like the common “attracted to bad boys but are surprised when they treat them badly” effect), find themselves alone and rather than relying on chance (which is like playing the lottery – only less fun), try to find the man of their dreams through dating sites.

I would often wonder why these women can’t find decent men. Take me as an example. I like to think of myself as a decent guy and nothing special (the bravado and ego on this site is just for my own amusement you know). A lot of these girls are into the outdoors, hiking, travelling, talking, laughing, that sort of thing. Well hey, I’m into all of those things! Someone with a winning personality and a sensitive side to them? C’est moi! A guy who likes romantic nights in, cooking, is laid back and easy going? That’s me! Someone who likes nights out on the town, eating in romantic restaurants and is a highly motivated go-getter who loves life? That’s me too! So if I can fit the bill and am reasonably good looking (well, according to my mother – God rest her soul), then surely there must be loads of guys out there that qualify too and these girls will have no problem.

Well, it turns out that the old saying is true: a good man is hard to find.

No Decent Men On

I decided to enlist my good lady’s help in researching this one so that it was fair and balanced. You see while I’m attracted to women, I’m not at all attracted to men – so I needed assistance from someone who is. First I showed her all the women that match my criteria – i.e. they live within 25 miles of my house, are single and aged 25-35. We found loads of girls that both my lass and I agreed were attractive (she knows the sort of girls I like), who from their profiles seemed really nice and we agreed I’d get on really well with. Easy. Loads of choice.

We then swapped the criteria over and searched for men within 25 miles of my house who are single and aged 25-40 (since women like older men I thought we’d widen the net slightly). There were pages and pages of them alright and you know what? My good lady spotted one that looked “OK”. The rest were either terrifying to look at (both eyes pointing in different directions for example), sounded terrible on their profiles and quickly convinced you you’d never want to meet them or both! We concluded that there are loads of eligible women out there, but just a handful of decent guys (if that).

The nice thing about not being in the dating game is that you can play it out in your head and imagine how easy it would be. Here I am, a decent guy who’d stand out a mile on a dating site. I’d have attractive women fighting each other to take me out. I could be really picky and choose the absolute perfect woman for me. We’d get together, be happy and live happily ever after! Of course I can remember from my own barren days of being single that it doesn’t work that way at all. But it’s nice to not have to find out!

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Creator of John's Background Switcher. Scotsman, footballer, photographer, dog owner, risk taker, heart breaker, nice guy. Some of those are lies.

15 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. Hi John! Glad to see the web is still keeping you occupied! Out of interest what car do you have? Please god tell me you didnt go through with your idea to put a cosworth engine in a peugeot 309… lol.



  2. Steve: Ha ha! I’ve got one of those Clio sport 182’s and surprisingly it’s the best car I’ve had – and I’ve had some pretty interesting ones. It has all the gadgets, is cheap to run and fun to drive. And unlike a 6 cylinder BMW I previously had, it doesn’t encourage me to drive like a maniac all the time!

    Col: Only on weekends! 😉


  3. Love it John. I may have to put my current little spare time project on hold to see what delights Wigan has to offer. That said, call me a cynic, but surely 50% are hoax profiles?


  4. Having had a quick look, there are loads of lovely lasses in Wigan! I actually think the vast majority of the profiles are real. I think to do the proper dating thing on you have to pay money so that’ll cut down the majority of fakes I’d have thought…


  5. We’re sitting in an Ask restaurant in Castleford and I was telling Joce about this great post, so she insisted on reading it via my phone. She thinks it’s funny too, and points out that we met on, so there must be the occasional good man on there!


  6. Really?! I didn’t know you met on – fantastic! Well it just goes to show it works and gives hope to the single ladies out there that there are decent men on there from time to time!


  7. Hi John, Remember me…the guy u interviewed before leaving mar…. Really interesting blog article you have there. now that i just moved into halifax, i am really going to try to used all he analysis you have done. Will get back to you with the result 😉


  8. Hi Anup, I do indeed remember you! 🙂

    I would say though, take everything I say with a pinch of salt, particularly in relation to women!!


  9. haa haa….!! Sure i will keep that in mind, atleast i have a starting point 😉 …i heard u r participating in the 25mile walk, and we are on the same team. Looking forward to see you there. Have you done a 25mile walk before…!! By the way The screen saver/wallpaper tool is really cool. I love it 🙂


  10. I have actually – I did the “Yorkshire 3 peaks” walk last year which is around that distance and I grew up hiking over mountains in Scotland. It should be fun! 🙂

    And glad you like JBS – I try to shamelessly promote it at every opportunity! 😉


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