There’s a fault with my telephone line that has two nasty side-effects. The first is that if I phone someone or they phone me, there’s a loud clicking sound about every half a second which is quite annoying. But the second problem is that I can no longer access the internet! No broadband and not even dial up!

They’re sending out an engineer on Monday morning but it means I’ll be spending the weekend entirely devoid of internet access. I won’t be able to look up little bits of information I see on TV, I won’t be able to IM friends, I won’t be able to Google my own name and I won’t even be able to check out www.realmadrid.com for the latest gossip.

I guess we’ll just have to spend the time talking, going shopping, gazing longingly into each other eyes and other things that people used to do before the distractions of always-on internet access came along. I’m looking forward to it but I’m not sure my good lady is!